Blind Date Stories
How to scare your blind date away
1. Apply gothic make-up.
2. Curse and swear at every little thing.
3. Smile evilly for no reason.
4. Eat like a glutton.(Using your bare hands of course)
5. Fart and burp loudly at every opportunity.
6. Give your date a dead insect as a present.
7. Cry for no aparent reason.
8. Talk about how you cause the deaths of all your previous
9. Wipe your nose off your date sleeve. Twice.
10. Order a plateful of lard.
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11. Ask for life food in the restaurant.
12. Beg your date to tatoo your name on him.
13. Pass the hat to collect proceeds to use to pay the
14. Talk to imaginary friends and insist they are there.
15. Bring your dog along. And insist it gets to seat at
the restaurant table.
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16. Bring candles along with you and after the meal, light
them up and arrange them around the table. Chant.
17. Insist your date pays. Order the most expensive food
at the restaurant and take one bite.
18. Lick off your plate. Offer to do so for your date too.
19. Repeat everythingyour date says. Laugh and let them
think you feel its funny.
20. Dig you nose. In front of your date of course. Offer
to dig for them and insist its cleaner this way.
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